well i have graduated from college, its boring, what did i think was going to happen, my mother graduated and had a job that paid her more than 12 dollars an hour and here i am with the same degree, in a different area of course, but same, with no job and no job prospects. Its almost as if i was expecting a line of people wishing to hire me or something. Adulthood wasn't what i thought it would be and to think i was in a hurry to get where i'm lolligagging at now. Why i wonder? I don't know, i just wanted to be old enough to drink, then when i got there i realized that meant being old enough to do alot of boring crap that i didn't think about. So now i'm trying to find work with my associate degree that really until i throw a bachelors into the mix isn't worth the parchment it is written on. so i guess its burger flippin time for me huh? or i can be a super hungry competetive indian dancer like my family, but then i wouldn't want to base my worth on what some people i hardly see or spend time with over the summer think of me or my family, which i would have to say wasn't the best but it is still my family that i love. But i don't know i wonder is there more to being indian than dancing at pow-wow's, stomp dances, or whatever else indians do? I'm not like uneducated on what indians do i guess i lost the meaning in it all. I hate outdoors, i'm allgergic to poison everything, mosquitos suck, and most people call me a "white b*tch" as it is. I just have to be me and no one will like me, its almost empowering, but also, hurtful. Too have so many peope judging me and never getting to know me. but, ohwell, life goes on like my sis's friend corky would say from time to time. LOL. . .I'm indian, I'm white, i'm a mutt, but can i think like one, no. . .it has to be one way or another. i'm Carly. That's all i know. . .